I am led to write about this thought based on some things that I have been seeing transpire over the past few months. When do we most likely take the time and genuinely seek God and His sovereignty? Is it when things are going great in our lives? Or is it when things are just going everything but great? It would be my hope that we are able to seek Him during both circumstances.
I am seeing so much suffering in the world that it makes me wonder how people who are experiencing this cope with their situations. When you've lost almost everything that means something to you, where do you turn to? Over the past two months, the Philippines has had enormous human loss and physical loss as it has been visited by at least four typhoons that have caused major destruction to the country. In the aftermath of it all, many have died, lost many of their houses and belongings and still many are becoming ill because of the spread of diseases from contaminated water sources and spread of disease transmitting insects. I have watched a video clip showing elementary schools not only teaching their students, but also providing shelter for the homeless. As I learned of the devastation, I sat there and thought, if I didn't know Christ, I don't know what hope I would have or who I would turn to to give me immediate peace amidst the chaos. My heart dropped for those affected, but I immediately prayed that it would be an opportunity for people to seek God and His ways through this tumultuous time. Sure enough, days after the first two typhoons, I spoke with a relative in the Philippines would said that the whole country is in prayer and many are turning to God for deliverance. Wow! On one side, I was relieved and glad that good was coming out of this negative situation, but on the other hand, I felt sad to think that it would take something like this for some to start to seek Him.
Recently, I just learned that another relative of mine has an advanced form of cancer. To my knowledge, he has been resistant to accepting God (let alone Christ) and even allowing His wife to learn about Him. Once he actually locked her out of their home because she went to a Bible study session. After that incident, she refused to attend another Christian venue in fear that she would be locked out again. I tell ya though, God has His plans and He is so much bigger than our pride and rebelliousness to Him. Since my relative's diagnosis and recent hospitalization, he has joined others to come before God and pray!!! I am so thrilled for his spirit (yet saddened by the pain he is enduring)! I only pray that he would accept Jesus' invitation to him no matter what the outcome is of his illness.
Has our society or humankind come to a point in history where we think we are fully self-sufficient that we don't need God in our lives? Will it take that "shaking of the heavens and earth" for us to be humbled and realize that He is the only one that can save us and grant us peace?
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Sunday, September 20, 2009
There is Light
It has been almost two weeks now since I dropped my grandmother off at the airport and perhaps waved my final wave to her. I was sending her back to be with the rest of our family that is on the other side of the world. I was not supposed to have her go back for another week, but we were racing time.
In a matter of three and a half weeks from being released from the hospital, Grandma's health started declining. She was starting to not only show similar symptoms that led to her prior hospitalization, but the nature of her cancer was presenting new ones. She was now experiencing pain that could not be remedied by an antibiotic or over-the-counter pain relief medication. Confused, I spoke with medical staff from three specialties that have been following her case. I was not prepared to hear what they concluded about her current symptom. "Sorry, there's nothing else we can do to treat what she's experiencing. All we can do is get her comfortable." Comfortable? That's it? We're just supposed to wait and watch her illness take over??? Ugh, how I cried for that week as I watched Grandma grow weak and hear her slightly groan from the pain she was enduring. How can I just put her in a zoned-out state of mind when she is fully mentally sharp and able still? Could I just give her a small dose of the pain med and let her wing some of the pain in exchange for her awareness and being able to be functional? What do I do? I was at a loss for words let alone an answer. I cried out to God. I cried out to Him and asked Him for wisdom. I cried for him to deliver her from her condition. If He wasn't going to heal her, I prayed that he would grant her mercy and bring her quickly home to Him or grant her grace and give her peace and comfort until it is time for her to go Home. Nonetheless, I would trust Him with her and the situation. (At one point, I recalled jokingly, but slightly seriously asking Him, "God, are you trying to make a hospice nurse out of me?! " --This wasn't my first time dealing with pain medications as being a last resort to an illness.)
It didn't take long to see that there wasn't a reason to keep her from going back to our relatives sooner. By the day, her health was changing and it wasn't for the better. After one day of seeing her oncologist, we were able to bump her ticket 5 days earlier to fly out! We were all so excited although I knew I was going to miss her dearly. Not to mention the fact that I didn't know what kind of treatment she would have access to once she left this country and how much time she had left.
It's been almost two weeks since Grandma left and I have spoken with her a few times over the phone. Her children and the rest of our family is taking such great care of her although the pain she was experiencing here is still the same. I could hear the sadness in her voice, but I remember telling her in our last conversation to keep hoping and having faith in God and Jesus. She didn't say much after that, but I pressed on and said, "Grandma, be patient because you're still around and He's not done with you just yet." I could hear a faint sigh of hope.
One of the biggest lessons I'm reassured of from this experience is that we truly have God to lean on and to depend on in any given circumstance. That He is very real and very relational. I know it logically, but sometimes it slips my attention. I pray that I never forget the reality of it.
In a matter of three and a half weeks from being released from the hospital, Grandma's health started declining. She was starting to not only show similar symptoms that led to her prior hospitalization, but the nature of her cancer was presenting new ones. She was now experiencing pain that could not be remedied by an antibiotic or over-the-counter pain relief medication. Confused, I spoke with medical staff from three specialties that have been following her case. I was not prepared to hear what they concluded about her current symptom. "Sorry, there's nothing else we can do to treat what she's experiencing. All we can do is get her comfortable." Comfortable? That's it? We're just supposed to wait and watch her illness take over??? Ugh, how I cried for that week as I watched Grandma grow weak and hear her slightly groan from the pain she was enduring. How can I just put her in a zoned-out state of mind when she is fully mentally sharp and able still? Could I just give her a small dose of the pain med and let her wing some of the pain in exchange for her awareness and being able to be functional? What do I do? I was at a loss for words let alone an answer. I cried out to God. I cried out to Him and asked Him for wisdom. I cried for him to deliver her from her condition. If He wasn't going to heal her, I prayed that he would grant her mercy and bring her quickly home to Him or grant her grace and give her peace and comfort until it is time for her to go Home. Nonetheless, I would trust Him with her and the situation. (At one point, I recalled jokingly, but slightly seriously asking Him, "God, are you trying to make a hospice nurse out of me?! " --This wasn't my first time dealing with pain medications as being a last resort to an illness.)
It didn't take long to see that there wasn't a reason to keep her from going back to our relatives sooner. By the day, her health was changing and it wasn't for the better. After one day of seeing her oncologist, we were able to bump her ticket 5 days earlier to fly out! We were all so excited although I knew I was going to miss her dearly. Not to mention the fact that I didn't know what kind of treatment she would have access to once she left this country and how much time she had left.
It's been almost two weeks since Grandma left and I have spoken with her a few times over the phone. Her children and the rest of our family is taking such great care of her although the pain she was experiencing here is still the same. I could hear the sadness in her voice, but I remember telling her in our last conversation to keep hoping and having faith in God and Jesus. She didn't say much after that, but I pressed on and said, "Grandma, be patient because you're still around and He's not done with you just yet." I could hear a faint sigh of hope.
One of the biggest lessons I'm reassured of from this experience is that we truly have God to lean on and to depend on in any given circumstance. That He is very real and very relational. I know it logically, but sometimes it slips my attention. I pray that I never forget the reality of it.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Saying Goodbye
I cannot imagine all the feelings you must be experiencing having just said goodbye to your grandma. Though you escorted her to a plane, we both are aware the more reticent goodbye is soon to come. And I feel for you. I’ll freely disclose that I’ve felt like I’ve been saying goodbye to someone my whole life. Anticipating someone’s end can be a gut wrenching, heartbreaking thing to do. When I was thirteen, my parents sat me down in our living room, informing me that my older sister had a malignant cancerous brain tumor. I’ll never forget how I felt climbing the stairs and entering the bathroom where she’d been bathing (at any other time it might have been strange, my joining her in the bathroom) and shaving her legs. Our conversation was fragile, as doctors had explained to my parents that it would be unlikely she’d live six more months. I ached to make every word count.
Twenty years later…she’s still alive, she’s still here. The word “here” can be argued however, because she struggles with mental illness and addictions that are life debilitating. That’s a story for another time. My point is that even before her cancer diagnosis (for undisclosed reasons) I learned to await death as though it perched on my doorstep present as birds singing in the morning. I grew skilled at anticipating.
Almost a year ago my dad got the call that the spot on his lung was a 9cm. tumor. Cancer, again. And yet, he lives. He walks daily. He engages in conversation when I call on the phone. Pneumonia and other pesky signs of cancer have cropped up. It’s there. Waiting. And I’m here, waiting.
But I don’t live in the wait. Will my sister die? Yes, someday. Will my father die? Yes, someday. Will I die, absolutely (waiting for you, Jesus) someday. Until then, let my life be known for breathing, for delighting, appreciating and basking in the glory of what’s been given and not what will someday be taken away. Just as surely as we all die here; someday we’ve been blessed with the chance to live THERE. And in the meantime, to do a little livin’ down here.
I’m feeling for you, my friend.
Until someday. Living today.
Twenty years later…she’s still alive, she’s still here. The word “here” can be argued however, because she struggles with mental illness and addictions that are life debilitating. That’s a story for another time. My point is that even before her cancer diagnosis (for undisclosed reasons) I learned to await death as though it perched on my doorstep present as birds singing in the morning. I grew skilled at anticipating.
Almost a year ago my dad got the call that the spot on his lung was a 9cm. tumor. Cancer, again. And yet, he lives. He walks daily. He engages in conversation when I call on the phone. Pneumonia and other pesky signs of cancer have cropped up. It’s there. Waiting. And I’m here, waiting.
But I don’t live in the wait. Will my sister die? Yes, someday. Will my father die? Yes, someday. Will I die, absolutely (waiting for you, Jesus) someday. Until then, let my life be known for breathing, for delighting, appreciating and basking in the glory of what’s been given and not what will someday be taken away. Just as surely as we all die here; someday we’ve been blessed with the chance to live THERE. And in the meantime, to do a little livin’ down here.
I’m feeling for you, my friend.
Until someday. Living today.
Monday, August 24, 2009
God Job on Earth
What a wonderful life to look forward to! Before we get there though, I wonder how many of us actually realize what we are meant to do here on Earth. I tell my children all the time how I cannot wait to see what their talents and interests are or what they will be as they grow. When I say this they normally beam with excitement as if waiting for that moment as well! They are like flowers while I am those pair of eyes just staring closely and waiting for their petals to unfold with what God blessed them with. Will they be musicians or dog lovers? Hot-dog eating contestants? Cavern guides? While it is suspenseful, I look forward to each day that a petal unfolds.
While growing up, I wasn't encouraged at all to do anything for fun or as a possible profession. I wonder if that would have made a difference in my life today if it had been otherwise. As it is, I cannot narrow exactly what I'd like to be when I grow up. Yes, I know. I don't think we ever do "grow up"; I think we just grow older. There are so many things I enjoy doing; I just wish I knew what I was made for.
In Ephesians, it says that "we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." So there we have it, we do have a purpose! On top of that, not only are we commanded to share the love of Jesus, but we were created with a specific callling. I believe that whatever God created in us to do, it is something that we not only will be great at (because it will come naturally), but we will actually have a passion for it. Who wouldn't want that? I pray that by the day God would reveal to us that specific passion and that we would accept that invitation and run hard with it.
While growing up, I wasn't encouraged at all to do anything for fun or as a possible profession. I wonder if that would have made a difference in my life today if it had been otherwise. As it is, I cannot narrow exactly what I'd like to be when I grow up. Yes, I know. I don't think we ever do "grow up"; I think we just grow older. There are so many things I enjoy doing; I just wish I knew what I was made for.
In Ephesians, it says that "we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." So there we have it, we do have a purpose! On top of that, not only are we commanded to share the love of Jesus, but we were created with a specific callling. I believe that whatever God created in us to do, it is something that we not only will be great at (because it will come naturally), but we will actually have a passion for it. Who wouldn't want that? I pray that by the day God would reveal to us that specific passion and that we would accept that invitation and run hard with it.
Friday, August 21, 2009
A God Job
Now you got me thinking. Not only do I imagine what interacting with Jesus in heaven might be like, I also like to visualize what I’ll spend my time doing. I’ve heard pastors say they are certain there’ll be golfing in heaven. Ho. Ho. Ho. Ha. Ha. They laugh just like that when they say it, too. I like to golf. I’d be up for it, but I’m excited about an unexpected thing. I wonder what work God will have in store for me. No, I’m not a workaholic and I don’t thrive on running myself ragged (though because you know me, I can’t hide the fact that I dive into projects and plans with intensity). However, I do believe we will work in heaven. I also believe it won’t be the kind of work we’ll roll our eyes at out of frustration. Instead, the artists will be painting gorgeous multi-hued murals across the backsplash of heaven. Unreal, right? And the excellent communicators…maybe it will be there job to connect us to all our loved ones we were acquainted with on earth. The seamstresses, well quite clearly they will be sewing all the iridescent wings. Who knows? My point is that we get to use our gifts in heaven. Time with Jesus, yes and the best part! Using our gifts for HIS KINGDOM while in HIS KINGDOM? I can’t even imagine it fully, but I can say I’m beaming with a smile. It excites me like few other things. How though, I wonder, will God decide which of my five hundred gifts to put me to work on? Needed a little humor injection (sorry).
What kind of work might you be assigned to in heaven?
What kind of work might you be assigned to in heaven?
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Face to Face
What would it be like to see Jesus face to face? I think about that moment where we face Him and already I am embarrassed to think about all the missed opportunities I had to follow Him and His will during this lifetime. I don't think we are supposed to live perfect lives here, but I firmly believe He always creates opportunities to draw us closer to Him. Every seemingly bad moment can be turned into something good and every good moment can be used to glorify Him.
I am still in awe that Jesus always was and yet agreed to suffer for us that we could be reconciled unto God! Who does that?! I wonder all the emotions He must have when He sees what we go through. I have found that when I am going through the saddest moments, I imagine Him weeping alongside and completely understanding my pain. I picture the moments when He was at the garden of Gethsemane right before He was arrested. "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. " (Matt 26:38, NIV) I also think about his reaction when He learned of Lazarus' death. Though He knew He could bring Lazarus back to life, "Jesus wept." (John 11:35, NIV) Think about it! Here we have Jesus who is the Alpha and Omega enduring emotional suffering as we do. We truly are never alone in our most joyous moments and the lowliest ones.
What would it be like to be in Heaven with Jesus or in the New Earth? Do we all get to chat with Him at the same time and be understood? Do we wait in line? Does He go house hopping? Do we all congregate in one area and all at once speak and listen? I love imagining and looking forward to how God's already got it worked out for us. What a surprise!
I am still in awe that Jesus always was and yet agreed to suffer for us that we could be reconciled unto God! Who does that?! I wonder all the emotions He must have when He sees what we go through. I have found that when I am going through the saddest moments, I imagine Him weeping alongside and completely understanding my pain. I picture the moments when He was at the garden of Gethsemane right before He was arrested. "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. " (Matt 26:38, NIV) I also think about his reaction when He learned of Lazarus' death. Though He knew He could bring Lazarus back to life, "Jesus wept." (John 11:35, NIV) Think about it! Here we have Jesus who is the Alpha and Omega enduring emotional suffering as we do. We truly are never alone in our most joyous moments and the lowliest ones.
What would it be like to be in Heaven with Jesus or in the New Earth? Do we all get to chat with Him at the same time and be understood? Do we wait in line? Does He go house hopping? Do we all congregate in one area and all at once speak and listen? I love imagining and looking forward to how God's already got it worked out for us. What a surprise!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)