Decisions, decisions, decisions...

That's a tough question. I did read a little about this young boy and his mother refusing conventional medical treatment for his cancer. At first, I thought, wow---is this kid for real? I later learned that part of their reason for declining the suggested treatment--chemotherapy--is so that they can apply a particular Native American form of treatment.

After a few moments of pondering about this news report, I could not help but be curious for their reasons to decline the proposed cancer treatment. I found it interesting that they were seeking to use a Native American form of treating the cancer, which does not involve the traditional route to aggressively treat cancer.

It gets very tricky when we start exploring outside of God's will and sovereignty for our life decisions. Here's an example. A few years back, my husband was very ill from a disease in which it really did take over our lives. We tried every medicine out there for this illness and sought alternative medicine as well (acupuncture, biofeedback, minerals, vitamins and the sort). Without relief, I became even more desperate for treatment for my husband's declining health. When we weren't seeing positive results from holistic/tradition approaches, I recalled having a college professor who was a shaman. A shaman is a sort of doctor that tries to heal physical and emotion ailments through performing certain rituals. This shaman in particular used trance to "heal" her clients. I remembered her sharing with me how she had healed a boy with epilepsy and a HIV-positive man. With this in mind, I suggested to my husband that we see her. (I was already a Christian at this point. Actually, I prayed daily, in tears mostly, for God to restore his health and for medical wisdom. ) I was desperate! I remember making that phone call to the shaman and she said she was willing to see my husband and try to help him. For a few seconds after hanging up the phone, I felt some relief that we were going to have another method to explore for "healing"; BUT, the Holy Spirit tugged at my heart saying otherwise. What was I doing? Was my faith so weak that I was willing to sell God short for my impatience and pain? The Holy Spirit revealed that going to the shaman was exploring (on my part) a power that was not of and from God, but quite the opposite. So now my heart was convicted, yet I still needed to make a decision. Was I going to simply diss God because I was not getting the results I wanted when I wanted them or was I going to rely on someone other than God to "fix" the situation?

Needless to say, my husband and I didn't meet with the shaman. We were going to trust God with our situation. Oh, I am so grateful for God's grace that He spared us the heartbreak that we would have felt for turning away from Him for such an important decision! I cannot pretend to know what it is like to have a disease like cancer, but I know what it is like to be medically desperate and to want to have a physically, functional lifestyle. In an instant, I could have easily turned my back on God because I didn't feel He wasn't acting quick enough or His plans didn't fit ours, but I am so glad for not going there! I just love it when He creates moments for us to turn back to Him because He knows what's best for us ---yes, even when we are in pain.

Boy In The News

I know both of us are in the trenches of dealing with loved ones with cancer. I thought I'd throw a question at you today. I'm curious about your thoughts on this. It's loaded, I'll let you know up front. I'm not sure you've heard about the boy in the news who is being forced to undergo more chemotherapy treatments. As you know, my father was diagnosed with lung cancer in October and has decided not to go the "medical route". This topic has hit home with me.

What are your thoughts about this boy and his family?

Self What?

Geeze, do you know what that requires? We live in a culture that tells us that everything is about us that it becomes a challenge to combat it. Let's see, our nature tells us that we come first and then we live in this culture that reaffirms it and encourages it. I actually find it a bit tragic when we succumb to the self because when difficult situations arise that include our "self", we quickly internalize emotions and start to get self-conscious and unstable. In other words, when we are into our "self" so much that we can't look beyond our "self" in those situations, it is as if we are standing on quick sand waiting to be devoured by anger, resentment, guilt, doubt, or confusion. On the flip side, if we are so full of our "self" when things are working out in our favor (i.e. career, relationships, hobby, etc.) , we become blinded by pride and our ego. Like the former, we're not only sinking in quick sand, but we're now on eroding quick sand. I've been in both places, and I can say that the lows and highs do not offer anything stable, secure and satisfying. For most of my young life (and yes, I consider myself still young :)), I had no idea what it meant to have something secure and stable. I relied on my own being to guide me and I thought I knew best what I should do with my life only to discover that I was only fooling myself. As situations arose (the not-s0-good ones, especially), it became apparent that I had no clue what I was doing nor what the purpose of my life was. It was only until I began searching for truth and learning about the god in the Bible that it became more clear that basing my life on my "self" was so unproductive and unsatisfying. Today, I cannot imagine going back to that place of self-reliance and self-centeredness when I know that I can stand on something solid and unchanging, my rock--- God.

Self Words

What do words like self-doubt, self-esteem and self-deprecating mean to you? Through time I've realized that self words often are a hint that focus is off somewhere. I think self-evaluation is important, but in light of who you are in God and all He's trying to do in you...self becomes less significant somehow.

I don't believe we are all to be chameleons of one another, walking around robotic and void of any specific character traits or gifts. God has gifted us uniquely and it thrills me to witness how many types of gifts there are. One of my favorite parts of being involved in a church is to see those gifts hard at work.

I think there's a wonderful sweet spot where you're self-aware enough to be able to surrender yourself and your desires (the whole dying to yourself bit), so that in turn God can do something powerful through you. After all, wasn't it Jesus who said in order to find yourself you need to lose yourself first. I think it's all about ripping down our pride and remembering who is in control.

What do you think of self words?

Good-bye or Hello Self?

Thanks! When we "die to ourselves", what does that mean? Does it mean we say "good-bye" to who we are or does it mean we actually uncover the person that we were created to be by peeling off the layers of untruth in our lives? Are we still unique individuals with real passions, desires, and ambitions? What are you willing to let go of in your life that is a stumbling block in your spiritual walk?

WELL Worth It

I've mentioned this to you recently, how thankful I am for the advice you gave me about dying to myself a little every day. I believe we are instructed to do something similar in the Bible somewhere (I just don't know where that verse is at the moment). Your thoughts had such a crucial impact with an ongoing issue I deal with.

I'm grateful for your friendship and the ways you look out for me by lifting me up and holding me accountable.

On the same topic of comfort, dying to myself is obviously NOT comfortable, but it is right.

I just finished Andy Stanley's book, The Principle of the Path where in it he talks about the meaning of "paying attention." He draws from the word pay, stating, "Why pay? Pay implies price. Pay implies cost. Pay implies giving away something of value..."

He reminded me that sometimes to get to the better place, the place God wants us to be, we will have to sacrifice some things along the way (we will have to die a little to our own selfish wants).
And while this is not always easy or comfortable, I believe when we stand before him on judgment day, it will be WELL worth it.
~ Wendy

Too close to Comfort

That's it! We (our culture) doesn't seem to like "discomfort". You think of our lifestyle and all the gadgets and ways we try to make life "comfortable" and convenient. For every medical ailment, we're so quick to jump to anything that will heal us or make us feel better (well, I guess why would we want otherwise?) Admit it, we don't do well when we're pushed out of our comfort zones. When there's anything that disrupts that comfort, we panic and look for ways to immediately remedy that discomfort AND we will do almost anything to restore that order into our lives again. Don't get me wrong, I have my certain comforts that I would rather not trade in, but if they were taken away from me, I would not be devastated (my health, chocolate, a roof over my head, music, a functioning toilet, thick, chenille socks, etc.) The apostles often talked about suffering (or discomfort in a more intense sense) and yet they added that we should "suffer with joy"....what?! It seems so unnatural to our very nature. BUT, they continue on and say that suffering produces perseverance (James 1) and that perseverance strengthens our faith. Wouldn't we want that? Wouldn't we want to own our faith instead of just inheriting it from our parents or believing out of fear? How do we own a faith that isn't personal and alive to us? From experience, I've seen God do amazing things during my lowest moments in life. I'm certain that I would not know the depth of God's grace, mercy and love on me had I not gone through those moments. Now, when things are looking rough or about to look rough, I just wonder how God is going to reveal Himself more in that time and what He's trying to accomplish through the circumstance ( I didn't say it wouldn't be painful).

Bottom Line: We're a part of this world and we are going to be affected by the natural because we're of the flesh, but we were not created to be weak, pitiful, lost beings. If anything, we're called to be bold (yes, even with the trials), joyful and unshakable, and we can be through Jesus. For sure, I'd be a wreck hands-down without Him!