Each day, I wonder what I was created for. I mean, what exactly as far as physically? Spiritually, we were made to love and serve God and also partake in His kingdom building. Physically, how do we do that? How do we physically serve Him and partake in His instructions for us to spread the Good News of Jesus? Simply, how do we reconcile our being to further His glory? I think we can answer that by the lives we live. Specifically, the daily work we are engaged in, whether in the house or outside of it (this is just one of many facets).
Where are you in your life right now? Are you doing something that you're not only passionate about, but darn good at it? Are you serving others at the same time? I firmly believe that each one of us possesses a talent and ability that we are uniquely blessed with and that God takes joy in seeing His children live out that talent/ability in our daily lives (sure, getting paid for it is a bonus!). Have you ever said to yourself, "Wow, I wish I could do that!" There is nothing like seeing someone sing and know that God made that person with that amazing ability that I can only dream of having!
I have seen so many people who are great at that one or two things that they know is their gift, but are too afraid to live out that gift and have that joy that comes along with doing what God created them to do because the risks that may follow from pursuing that gift. It is truly disheartening. I don't think He ever meant for us to have careers or activities that we don't have a passion for. This message isn't to belittle those who are working in fields that are not necessarily of their interests. Instead, this is to encourage you to seek God for wisdom about yourself-what your purpose is, what you're good at, not so good at, where does He want you to be, what does He want you to be doing. Take a chance. No, take it to heart. He only created us, He would know. . .
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Chicken & Toilet Paper
You know you have a good friend when they bring over chicken and toilet paper. I'm just sayin'. I hope you know how very much I appreciate your friendship and how THANKFUL I am for you.
Happy Thanksgiving!
~ Wendy
Happy Thanksgiving!
~ Wendy
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Why do we wait?
I am led to write about this thought based on some things that I have been seeing transpire over the past few months. When do we most likely take the time and genuinely seek God and His sovereignty? Is it when things are going great in our lives? Or is it when things are just going everything but great? It would be my hope that we are able to seek Him during both circumstances.
I am seeing so much suffering in the world that it makes me wonder how people who are experiencing this cope with their situations. When you've lost almost everything that means something to you, where do you turn to? Over the past two months, the Philippines has had enormous human loss and physical loss as it has been visited by at least four typhoons that have caused major destruction to the country. In the aftermath of it all, many have died, lost many of their houses and belongings and still many are becoming ill because of the spread of diseases from contaminated water sources and spread of disease transmitting insects. I have watched a video clip showing elementary schools not only teaching their students, but also providing shelter for the homeless. As I learned of the devastation, I sat there and thought, if I didn't know Christ, I don't know what hope I would have or who I would turn to to give me immediate peace amidst the chaos. My heart dropped for those affected, but I immediately prayed that it would be an opportunity for people to seek God and His ways through this tumultuous time. Sure enough, days after the first two typhoons, I spoke with a relative in the Philippines would said that the whole country is in prayer and many are turning to God for deliverance. Wow! On one side, I was relieved and glad that good was coming out of this negative situation, but on the other hand, I felt sad to think that it would take something like this for some to start to seek Him.
Recently, I just learned that another relative of mine has an advanced form of cancer. To my knowledge, he has been resistant to accepting God (let alone Christ) and even allowing His wife to learn about Him. Once he actually locked her out of their home because she went to a Bible study session. After that incident, she refused to attend another Christian venue in fear that she would be locked out again. I tell ya though, God has His plans and He is so much bigger than our pride and rebelliousness to Him. Since my relative's diagnosis and recent hospitalization, he has joined others to come before God and pray!!! I am so thrilled for his spirit (yet saddened by the pain he is enduring)! I only pray that he would accept Jesus' invitation to him no matter what the outcome is of his illness.
Has our society or humankind come to a point in history where we think we are fully self-sufficient that we don't need God in our lives? Will it take that "shaking of the heavens and earth" for us to be humbled and realize that He is the only one that can save us and grant us peace?
I am seeing so much suffering in the world that it makes me wonder how people who are experiencing this cope with their situations. When you've lost almost everything that means something to you, where do you turn to? Over the past two months, the Philippines has had enormous human loss and physical loss as it has been visited by at least four typhoons that have caused major destruction to the country. In the aftermath of it all, many have died, lost many of their houses and belongings and still many are becoming ill because of the spread of diseases from contaminated water sources and spread of disease transmitting insects. I have watched a video clip showing elementary schools not only teaching their students, but also providing shelter for the homeless. As I learned of the devastation, I sat there and thought, if I didn't know Christ, I don't know what hope I would have or who I would turn to to give me immediate peace amidst the chaos. My heart dropped for those affected, but I immediately prayed that it would be an opportunity for people to seek God and His ways through this tumultuous time. Sure enough, days after the first two typhoons, I spoke with a relative in the Philippines would said that the whole country is in prayer and many are turning to God for deliverance. Wow! On one side, I was relieved and glad that good was coming out of this negative situation, but on the other hand, I felt sad to think that it would take something like this for some to start to seek Him.
Recently, I just learned that another relative of mine has an advanced form of cancer. To my knowledge, he has been resistant to accepting God (let alone Christ) and even allowing His wife to learn about Him. Once he actually locked her out of their home because she went to a Bible study session. After that incident, she refused to attend another Christian venue in fear that she would be locked out again. I tell ya though, God has His plans and He is so much bigger than our pride and rebelliousness to Him. Since my relative's diagnosis and recent hospitalization, he has joined others to come before God and pray!!! I am so thrilled for his spirit (yet saddened by the pain he is enduring)! I only pray that he would accept Jesus' invitation to him no matter what the outcome is of his illness.
Has our society or humankind come to a point in history where we think we are fully self-sufficient that we don't need God in our lives? Will it take that "shaking of the heavens and earth" for us to be humbled and realize that He is the only one that can save us and grant us peace?
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Sunday, September 20, 2009
There is Light
It has been almost two weeks now since I dropped my grandmother off at the airport and perhaps waved my final wave to her. I was sending her back to be with the rest of our family that is on the other side of the world. I was not supposed to have her go back for another week, but we were racing time.
In a matter of three and a half weeks from being released from the hospital, Grandma's health started declining. She was starting to not only show similar symptoms that led to her prior hospitalization, but the nature of her cancer was presenting new ones. She was now experiencing pain that could not be remedied by an antibiotic or over-the-counter pain relief medication. Confused, I spoke with medical staff from three specialties that have been following her case. I was not prepared to hear what they concluded about her current symptom. "Sorry, there's nothing else we can do to treat what she's experiencing. All we can do is get her comfortable." Comfortable? That's it? We're just supposed to wait and watch her illness take over??? Ugh, how I cried for that week as I watched Grandma grow weak and hear her slightly groan from the pain she was enduring. How can I just put her in a zoned-out state of mind when she is fully mentally sharp and able still? Could I just give her a small dose of the pain med and let her wing some of the pain in exchange for her awareness and being able to be functional? What do I do? I was at a loss for words let alone an answer. I cried out to God. I cried out to Him and asked Him for wisdom. I cried for him to deliver her from her condition. If He wasn't going to heal her, I prayed that he would grant her mercy and bring her quickly home to Him or grant her grace and give her peace and comfort until it is time for her to go Home. Nonetheless, I would trust Him with her and the situation. (At one point, I recalled jokingly, but slightly seriously asking Him, "God, are you trying to make a hospice nurse out of me?! " --This wasn't my first time dealing with pain medications as being a last resort to an illness.)
It didn't take long to see that there wasn't a reason to keep her from going back to our relatives sooner. By the day, her health was changing and it wasn't for the better. After one day of seeing her oncologist, we were able to bump her ticket 5 days earlier to fly out! We were all so excited although I knew I was going to miss her dearly. Not to mention the fact that I didn't know what kind of treatment she would have access to once she left this country and how much time she had left.
It's been almost two weeks since Grandma left and I have spoken with her a few times over the phone. Her children and the rest of our family is taking such great care of her although the pain she was experiencing here is still the same. I could hear the sadness in her voice, but I remember telling her in our last conversation to keep hoping and having faith in God and Jesus. She didn't say much after that, but I pressed on and said, "Grandma, be patient because you're still around and He's not done with you just yet." I could hear a faint sigh of hope.
One of the biggest lessons I'm reassured of from this experience is that we truly have God to lean on and to depend on in any given circumstance. That He is very real and very relational. I know it logically, but sometimes it slips my attention. I pray that I never forget the reality of it.
In a matter of three and a half weeks from being released from the hospital, Grandma's health started declining. She was starting to not only show similar symptoms that led to her prior hospitalization, but the nature of her cancer was presenting new ones. She was now experiencing pain that could not be remedied by an antibiotic or over-the-counter pain relief medication. Confused, I spoke with medical staff from three specialties that have been following her case. I was not prepared to hear what they concluded about her current symptom. "Sorry, there's nothing else we can do to treat what she's experiencing. All we can do is get her comfortable." Comfortable? That's it? We're just supposed to wait and watch her illness take over??? Ugh, how I cried for that week as I watched Grandma grow weak and hear her slightly groan from the pain she was enduring. How can I just put her in a zoned-out state of mind when she is fully mentally sharp and able still? Could I just give her a small dose of the pain med and let her wing some of the pain in exchange for her awareness and being able to be functional? What do I do? I was at a loss for words let alone an answer. I cried out to God. I cried out to Him and asked Him for wisdom. I cried for him to deliver her from her condition. If He wasn't going to heal her, I prayed that he would grant her mercy and bring her quickly home to Him or grant her grace and give her peace and comfort until it is time for her to go Home. Nonetheless, I would trust Him with her and the situation. (At one point, I recalled jokingly, but slightly seriously asking Him, "God, are you trying to make a hospice nurse out of me?! " --This wasn't my first time dealing with pain medications as being a last resort to an illness.)
It didn't take long to see that there wasn't a reason to keep her from going back to our relatives sooner. By the day, her health was changing and it wasn't for the better. After one day of seeing her oncologist, we were able to bump her ticket 5 days earlier to fly out! We were all so excited although I knew I was going to miss her dearly. Not to mention the fact that I didn't know what kind of treatment she would have access to once she left this country and how much time she had left.
It's been almost two weeks since Grandma left and I have spoken with her a few times over the phone. Her children and the rest of our family is taking such great care of her although the pain she was experiencing here is still the same. I could hear the sadness in her voice, but I remember telling her in our last conversation to keep hoping and having faith in God and Jesus. She didn't say much after that, but I pressed on and said, "Grandma, be patient because you're still around and He's not done with you just yet." I could hear a faint sigh of hope.
One of the biggest lessons I'm reassured of from this experience is that we truly have God to lean on and to depend on in any given circumstance. That He is very real and very relational. I know it logically, but sometimes it slips my attention. I pray that I never forget the reality of it.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Saying Goodbye
I cannot imagine all the feelings you must be experiencing having just said goodbye to your grandma. Though you escorted her to a plane, we both are aware the more reticent goodbye is soon to come. And I feel for you. I’ll freely disclose that I’ve felt like I’ve been saying goodbye to someone my whole life. Anticipating someone’s end can be a gut wrenching, heartbreaking thing to do. When I was thirteen, my parents sat me down in our living room, informing me that my older sister had a malignant cancerous brain tumor. I’ll never forget how I felt climbing the stairs and entering the bathroom where she’d been bathing (at any other time it might have been strange, my joining her in the bathroom) and shaving her legs. Our conversation was fragile, as doctors had explained to my parents that it would be unlikely she’d live six more months. I ached to make every word count.
Twenty years later…she’s still alive, she’s still here. The word “here” can be argued however, because she struggles with mental illness and addictions that are life debilitating. That’s a story for another time. My point is that even before her cancer diagnosis (for undisclosed reasons) I learned to await death as though it perched on my doorstep present as birds singing in the morning. I grew skilled at anticipating.
Almost a year ago my dad got the call that the spot on his lung was a 9cm. tumor. Cancer, again. And yet, he lives. He walks daily. He engages in conversation when I call on the phone. Pneumonia and other pesky signs of cancer have cropped up. It’s there. Waiting. And I’m here, waiting.
But I don’t live in the wait. Will my sister die? Yes, someday. Will my father die? Yes, someday. Will I die, absolutely (waiting for you, Jesus) someday. Until then, let my life be known for breathing, for delighting, appreciating and basking in the glory of what’s been given and not what will someday be taken away. Just as surely as we all die here; someday we’ve been blessed with the chance to live THERE. And in the meantime, to do a little livin’ down here.
I’m feeling for you, my friend.
Until someday. Living today.
Twenty years later…she’s still alive, she’s still here. The word “here” can be argued however, because she struggles with mental illness and addictions that are life debilitating. That’s a story for another time. My point is that even before her cancer diagnosis (for undisclosed reasons) I learned to await death as though it perched on my doorstep present as birds singing in the morning. I grew skilled at anticipating.
Almost a year ago my dad got the call that the spot on his lung was a 9cm. tumor. Cancer, again. And yet, he lives. He walks daily. He engages in conversation when I call on the phone. Pneumonia and other pesky signs of cancer have cropped up. It’s there. Waiting. And I’m here, waiting.
But I don’t live in the wait. Will my sister die? Yes, someday. Will my father die? Yes, someday. Will I die, absolutely (waiting for you, Jesus) someday. Until then, let my life be known for breathing, for delighting, appreciating and basking in the glory of what’s been given and not what will someday be taken away. Just as surely as we all die here; someday we’ve been blessed with the chance to live THERE. And in the meantime, to do a little livin’ down here.
I’m feeling for you, my friend.
Until someday. Living today.
Monday, August 24, 2009
God Job on Earth
What a wonderful life to look forward to! Before we get there though, I wonder how many of us actually realize what we are meant to do here on Earth. I tell my children all the time how I cannot wait to see what their talents and interests are or what they will be as they grow. When I say this they normally beam with excitement as if waiting for that moment as well! They are like flowers while I am those pair of eyes just staring closely and waiting for their petals to unfold with what God blessed them with. Will they be musicians or dog lovers? Hot-dog eating contestants? Cavern guides? While it is suspenseful, I look forward to each day that a petal unfolds.
While growing up, I wasn't encouraged at all to do anything for fun or as a possible profession. I wonder if that would have made a difference in my life today if it had been otherwise. As it is, I cannot narrow exactly what I'd like to be when I grow up. Yes, I know. I don't think we ever do "grow up"; I think we just grow older. There are so many things I enjoy doing; I just wish I knew what I was made for.
In Ephesians, it says that "we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." So there we have it, we do have a purpose! On top of that, not only are we commanded to share the love of Jesus, but we were created with a specific callling. I believe that whatever God created in us to do, it is something that we not only will be great at (because it will come naturally), but we will actually have a passion for it. Who wouldn't want that? I pray that by the day God would reveal to us that specific passion and that we would accept that invitation and run hard with it.
While growing up, I wasn't encouraged at all to do anything for fun or as a possible profession. I wonder if that would have made a difference in my life today if it had been otherwise. As it is, I cannot narrow exactly what I'd like to be when I grow up. Yes, I know. I don't think we ever do "grow up"; I think we just grow older. There are so many things I enjoy doing; I just wish I knew what I was made for.
In Ephesians, it says that "we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." So there we have it, we do have a purpose! On top of that, not only are we commanded to share the love of Jesus, but we were created with a specific callling. I believe that whatever God created in us to do, it is something that we not only will be great at (because it will come naturally), but we will actually have a passion for it. Who wouldn't want that? I pray that by the day God would reveal to us that specific passion and that we would accept that invitation and run hard with it.
Friday, August 21, 2009
A God Job
Now you got me thinking. Not only do I imagine what interacting with Jesus in heaven might be like, I also like to visualize what I’ll spend my time doing. I’ve heard pastors say they are certain there’ll be golfing in heaven. Ho. Ho. Ho. Ha. Ha. They laugh just like that when they say it, too. I like to golf. I’d be up for it, but I’m excited about an unexpected thing. I wonder what work God will have in store for me. No, I’m not a workaholic and I don’t thrive on running myself ragged (though because you know me, I can’t hide the fact that I dive into projects and plans with intensity). However, I do believe we will work in heaven. I also believe it won’t be the kind of work we’ll roll our eyes at out of frustration. Instead, the artists will be painting gorgeous multi-hued murals across the backsplash of heaven. Unreal, right? And the excellent communicators…maybe it will be there job to connect us to all our loved ones we were acquainted with on earth. The seamstresses, well quite clearly they will be sewing all the iridescent wings. Who knows? My point is that we get to use our gifts in heaven. Time with Jesus, yes and the best part! Using our gifts for HIS KINGDOM while in HIS KINGDOM? I can’t even imagine it fully, but I can say I’m beaming with a smile. It excites me like few other things. How though, I wonder, will God decide which of my five hundred gifts to put me to work on? Needed a little humor injection (sorry).
What kind of work might you be assigned to in heaven?
What kind of work might you be assigned to in heaven?
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Face to Face
What would it be like to see Jesus face to face? I think about that moment where we face Him and already I am embarrassed to think about all the missed opportunities I had to follow Him and His will during this lifetime. I don't think we are supposed to live perfect lives here, but I firmly believe He always creates opportunities to draw us closer to Him. Every seemingly bad moment can be turned into something good and every good moment can be used to glorify Him.
I am still in awe that Jesus always was and yet agreed to suffer for us that we could be reconciled unto God! Who does that?! I wonder all the emotions He must have when He sees what we go through. I have found that when I am going through the saddest moments, I imagine Him weeping alongside and completely understanding my pain. I picture the moments when He was at the garden of Gethsemane right before He was arrested. "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. " (Matt 26:38, NIV) I also think about his reaction when He learned of Lazarus' death. Though He knew He could bring Lazarus back to life, "Jesus wept." (John 11:35, NIV) Think about it! Here we have Jesus who is the Alpha and Omega enduring emotional suffering as we do. We truly are never alone in our most joyous moments and the lowliest ones.
What would it be like to be in Heaven with Jesus or in the New Earth? Do we all get to chat with Him at the same time and be understood? Do we wait in line? Does He go house hopping? Do we all congregate in one area and all at once speak and listen? I love imagining and looking forward to how God's already got it worked out for us. What a surprise!
I am still in awe that Jesus always was and yet agreed to suffer for us that we could be reconciled unto God! Who does that?! I wonder all the emotions He must have when He sees what we go through. I have found that when I am going through the saddest moments, I imagine Him weeping alongside and completely understanding my pain. I picture the moments when He was at the garden of Gethsemane right before He was arrested. "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. " (Matt 26:38, NIV) I also think about his reaction when He learned of Lazarus' death. Though He knew He could bring Lazarus back to life, "Jesus wept." (John 11:35, NIV) Think about it! Here we have Jesus who is the Alpha and Omega enduring emotional suffering as we do. We truly are never alone in our most joyous moments and the lowliest ones.
What would it be like to be in Heaven with Jesus or in the New Earth? Do we all get to chat with Him at the same time and be understood? Do we wait in line? Does He go house hopping? Do we all congregate in one area and all at once speak and listen? I love imagining and looking forward to how God's already got it worked out for us. What a surprise!
Monday, July 27, 2009
Speaking of Fear
Speaking of fear, I want to know what angels look like. They’re always going around in the Bible telling Bible folk not to fear. So out of curiosity more than entitlement (I’m not a fool) I want to know what angels look like. Even more, I want to see Jesus’ face, but I know that time will come. I await it in anticipation. I crave heaven. Sometimes and on some days I am so painfully aware that this is not my home. Get this, I’ve had pangs of this or phantom pains of it since I was a little kid, since before I even knew God. That is part of the reason why I emphatically believe our God pursues. He draws us close to Him and we unknowingly long for Him all too often.
Back to angels (wouldn’t want those angels chasing off down any more rabbit trails. Rabbits just might turn pale and keel over on us). Did they shine so bright that people had to shade their eyes? Did they have countless fluttery wings? Revelation has my mind tripping out when it comes to the various ways angels might look. Read that book and there’s no wonder anyone who actually saw an angel would initially feel anything but fear. I love that the first words the angels would say were words of reassurance. Our God is such a God of reassurance, but not apologetically and meek in His calming. Do not fear was spoken as a command. If I’m guessing right, I don’t think we’re supposed to take those too lightly.
While it’s fun to imagine what it might be like to get a 3:00 am visit from an ethereal melodious-voiced angel, I prefer thinking of hanging out in a flower garden with Jesus. I have so many questions. I want to study Him, want to listen and listen and listen to His voice, recognizing it as wonderfully familiar and eternally reassuring.
Back to angels (wouldn’t want those angels chasing off down any more rabbit trails. Rabbits just might turn pale and keel over on us). Did they shine so bright that people had to shade their eyes? Did they have countless fluttery wings? Revelation has my mind tripping out when it comes to the various ways angels might look. Read that book and there’s no wonder anyone who actually saw an angel would initially feel anything but fear. I love that the first words the angels would say were words of reassurance. Our God is such a God of reassurance, but not apologetically and meek in His calming. Do not fear was spoken as a command. If I’m guessing right, I don’t think we’re supposed to take those too lightly.
While it’s fun to imagine what it might be like to get a 3:00 am visit from an ethereal melodious-voiced angel, I prefer thinking of hanging out in a flower garden with Jesus. I have so many questions. I want to study Him, want to listen and listen and listen to His voice, recognizing it as wonderfully familiar and eternally reassuring.
Monday, July 20, 2009
No Fear
Over the past few weeks I have watched my grandmother become less afraid of losing her physical life. It is such a sight to see her have gradual peace over whichever path life may take her after being diagnosed with Stage IIIB cervical cancer 3 1/2 months ago. I watched her go from being in shock to depressed to now coming to terms with this reality. I don't know exactly if there is a "process" of emotions that cancer or terminally ill people go through, but it is heartwarming to see her turn this entire situation over to God.
At first, once the shock wore off of the news, she expressed the need to hold onto this life because of fear of the unknown. Is there life after this one? I've said to her that the Bible says our bodies will be restored, but she's not too sure about that. Having not read the Bible and not understanding much of the Christian faith, she is also uncertain about heaven. We've had numerous conversations about what the Bible says and for the most part, she's engaged and asks lots of questions. Have I convinced her? Not even close! The Holy Spirit has had to do that because if I know how my grandmother works, she's pretty stubborn and almost so stubborn that I just have to laugh at times.
Fear. So it's not that she doesn't believe in God and in Jesus, but she feared this life being the only one she'll ever have! Wow! I know it's hard for us to imagine a perfect world after this one, but I think it's even more challenging for me to imagine this life being the only one we live and then to only have nonexistence. I can't seem to wrap my brain around that concept. Poor Grandma, here she was afraid to lose her life out of fear of the unknown and perhaps the finality to life itself. There was nothing else I could do for her except to pray for her. I prayed that God would give her a peace about this predicament and just love on her in a way that she has not experienced.
It's been almost a week now since her last radiation treatment and we don't know what the exact results are from the treatment yet and I don't know if we will get them. The oncologist said that as long as her symptoms that were linked to the cancer have improved, then that's a good indication that the tumor has at least reduced in size. Either way, I am just glad that my grandmother has come to terms with this condition and has peace about it. I have seen her draw closer to God and really ponder over His realness and sovereignty. God has become more alive to her and she is able to face physical death with a peace that wasn't there before. I was led to write about this while thinking about Paul's message to Timothy about fear. “For God has not given us a spirit of fear (timidity), but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”(2 Timothy 1:7,NKJV) Could you imagine what it would be like if we lived a life without being fearful? How about what it would be like to not only have inner peace, but to walk boldly in Him in love? Pretty overwhelming yet amazing, eh?
At first, once the shock wore off of the news, she expressed the need to hold onto this life because of fear of the unknown. Is there life after this one? I've said to her that the Bible says our bodies will be restored, but she's not too sure about that. Having not read the Bible and not understanding much of the Christian faith, she is also uncertain about heaven. We've had numerous conversations about what the Bible says and for the most part, she's engaged and asks lots of questions. Have I convinced her? Not even close! The Holy Spirit has had to do that because if I know how my grandmother works, she's pretty stubborn and almost so stubborn that I just have to laugh at times.
Fear. So it's not that she doesn't believe in God and in Jesus, but she feared this life being the only one she'll ever have! Wow! I know it's hard for us to imagine a perfect world after this one, but I think it's even more challenging for me to imagine this life being the only one we live and then to only have nonexistence. I can't seem to wrap my brain around that concept. Poor Grandma, here she was afraid to lose her life out of fear of the unknown and perhaps the finality to life itself. There was nothing else I could do for her except to pray for her. I prayed that God would give her a peace about this predicament and just love on her in a way that she has not experienced.
It's been almost a week now since her last radiation treatment and we don't know what the exact results are from the treatment yet and I don't know if we will get them. The oncologist said that as long as her symptoms that were linked to the cancer have improved, then that's a good indication that the tumor has at least reduced in size. Either way, I am just glad that my grandmother has come to terms with this condition and has peace about it. I have seen her draw closer to God and really ponder over His realness and sovereignty. God has become more alive to her and she is able to face physical death with a peace that wasn't there before. I was led to write about this while thinking about Paul's message to Timothy about fear. “For God has not given us a spirit of fear (timidity), but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”(2 Timothy 1:7,NKJV) Could you imagine what it would be like if we lived a life without being fearful? How about what it would be like to not only have inner peace, but to walk boldly in Him in love? Pretty overwhelming yet amazing, eh?
Monday, July 6, 2009
The Rib Bone’s Connected to the…
Have you heard of the bone theory? You know, the one that refers to elements of spirituality being either spine issues or rib issues? The spine issues hinge upon the truth and whether or not someone has received salvation and the rib issues are every other superfluous thing.
Beth Moore gives examples of both in her Bible study, Stepping Up: a journey through the Psalms of Ascent.
Rib Issues:
Spiritual gifts
Stands on end times
Styles of worship
About rib issues, Beth writes, rib issues “are not matters of life and death.”
Spine Issues:
Jesus is the only way, truth, and life, and no one gets to God any other way
Jesus Christ is the divine Son of God
Christ’s bodily resurrection
Beth writes, “Spine issues comprise the backbone of our faith.
I’ve used this analogy many times to weigh whether or not something was worth poking a stick at. What do you think about rib and spine issues and at times are there clavicles, skull or other bones that could easily represent tenets of faith?
Spiritual gifts
Stands on end times
Styles of worship
About rib issues, Beth writes, rib issues “are not matters of life and death.”
Spine Issues:
Jesus is the only way, truth, and life, and no one gets to God any other way
Jesus Christ is the divine Son of God
Christ’s bodily resurrection
Beth writes, “Spine issues comprise the backbone of our faith.
I’ve used this analogy many times to weigh whether or not something was worth poking a stick at. What do you think about rib and spine issues and at times are there clavicles, skull or other bones that could easily represent tenets of faith?
*photo by flickr
Thursday, June 25, 2009
God's Timing II
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God,which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."--Philippians 4:6-7
Have you ever prayed for something so much ("Do not be anxious about anything," but it's our nature to be) and thought that God wasn't listening because you either didn't get an answer or the answer wasn't what you were hoping for? How about when you've wanted something so badly and thought that you needed a response immediately ("but in everything, by prayer")? I used to think that when I prayed for something, especially if it was something that would positively benefit myself or anyone involved, God would honor that prayer and respond accordingly ("and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. " I admit, it's very difficult to be thankful in times of conflict and suffering. Before I came to faith in Christ and even early on in the faith, I can't say I was thankful for the pain.). Was I proven wrong! It's not that God doesn't want us to live peaceful, exciting and joy-fulfilled lives, but He wants better, He wants the BEST for us ( And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Isn't that what we want?). Let's face it, we don't always know what's best for us. How many times do we choose a friend or significant other and know that in the midst of it, it wasn't the healthiest relationship to be in? Yet, somehow in our own stubbornness and desire, we think at the onset of the relationship we've made a great choice or maybe we know we've made a poor decision, but are too stubborn and/or prideful to change our minds.
What do you think? How many times have we found ourselves saying, "If I had just waited, I would/could/should have..." ? What are some of your could haves, should haves, would haves had you just waited for God's best? Ugh... Errrrr.....that's how I feel when I miss out on God's choices for me due to my lack of patience and feeling the need to control my own circumstance.
Here's my should have, could have, would have: If I had just waited for God's best and His timing, I would have abstained from being involved in the relationships I chose. I wish I had known sooner that I didn't need anyone else's validation but God's. Ugh...Errr..... but, thank God!
Have you ever prayed for something so much ("Do not be anxious about anything," but it's our nature to be) and thought that God wasn't listening because you either didn't get an answer or the answer wasn't what you were hoping for? How about when you've wanted something so badly and thought that you needed a response immediately ("but in everything, by prayer")? I used to think that when I prayed for something, especially if it was something that would positively benefit myself or anyone involved, God would honor that prayer and respond accordingly ("and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. " I admit, it's very difficult to be thankful in times of conflict and suffering. Before I came to faith in Christ and even early on in the faith, I can't say I was thankful for the pain.). Was I proven wrong! It's not that God doesn't want us to live peaceful, exciting and joy-fulfilled lives, but He wants better, He wants the BEST for us ( And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Isn't that what we want?). Let's face it, we don't always know what's best for us. How many times do we choose a friend or significant other and know that in the midst of it, it wasn't the healthiest relationship to be in? Yet, somehow in our own stubbornness and desire, we think at the onset of the relationship we've made a great choice or maybe we know we've made a poor decision, but are too stubborn and/or prideful to change our minds.
What do you think? How many times have we found ourselves saying, "If I had just waited, I would/could/should have..." ? What are some of your could haves, should haves, would haves had you just waited for God's best? Ugh... Errrrr.....that's how I feel when I miss out on God's choices for me due to my lack of patience and feeling the need to control my own circumstance.
Here's my should have, could have, would have: If I had just waited for God's best and His timing, I would have abstained from being involved in the relationships I chose. I wish I had known sooner that I didn't need anyone else's validation but God's. Ugh...Errr..... but, thank God!
Thursday, June 18, 2009
God's Timing
Oh too funny! I couldn't stop laughing while reading this story. It helped knowing what your grandma looks like. I visualized the whole thing! Excellent. I am 100% confident milk was coming out of God's nose as he was laughing (or you get my point.) I'll post a picture of a laughing Jesus. It's how I most like to think of him because I think he must laugh at me on a daily basis.~~Here's a quick story about God's timing. I drove over an hour to pick my sister up several days ago. She lives over twelve hours away, but her friend had driven her to just over an hour away. My daughter, B had told me over and over in the morning that she wanted us all to wait for her as she exited the bus. She'd been feeling a little sad she wasn't going to have as much time with my sister so this was going to be the meaningful compromise, to have all of us eagerly awaiting her return from school.
I allowed over forty minutes of time padding to get home. We had plenty of time to get back. But as life goes we were held up in two stubborn patches of traffic. During the first slow down I got angry, pounding the steering wheel while flinging frustrated phrases at the windshield. I still wondered and held onto the possibility that we might make it home on time. Finally, when traffic cleared and the cars sped up my hope grew. Yes, I thought...we can make it.
Then, traffic crunch number two and with it came the tears, a call to a neighbor to make sure B would be escorted off the bus and questions thrown up to God. I so wanted to be there for her and I felt such deep frustration as a mother that it just wasn't going to happen.
It wasn't until we were a minute away from the house that I remembered sometimes B's bus driver goes one of two different ways. There was a freakish chance he'd chosen to go the way that would potentially, though doubtfully, but still potentially mean the bus had not dropped her off yet. I held onto that tiny flicker of hope, but didn't put much weight in it.
We pulled into the driveway and I could see our wonderful neighborly grandma lady waiting...WAITING! The bus had not yet come. We made it. WE MADE IT. One minute later the bus screeched to a stop.
Now I realize this may seem like such a small thing for me to have gotten upset about, but it was important for me to be there and somehow we made it. I attribute that somehow to God's perfect timing!
Hugs were had by all!
*photo by flickr
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Here's to Life!
Thanks for the comment! I could not agree more with your last statement about making the most of each day we are blessed with. I had an incident that happened yesterday that made me chuckle the entire time until I was in the car (you'll see). It was a rather ordinary "lemon" beginning experience, but definitely a "lemonade" ending one!
Yesterday afternoon, I brought my 86 1/2 year old grandmother to her daily radiation treatment (she has cervical cancer) that is located on the ground level of the hospital. Afterwards, I needed to bring her to the second floor to get the nurses to dress her surgery site from the PCN tube procedure that was done last Friday. Since she has trouble walking long distances, I asked her if she wanted to be in a wheelchair so that I could transport her to the second floor. She agreed and I quickly walked us to the nearest elevator, which was 4 minutes away. Before getting to the elevators, I have to first get through a set of automatic doors. Thankfully, the doors were open already so I whizzed through and headed for the elevators. Upon reaching the elevators, I pressed the up arrow button and suddenly got shocked! The spark was both surprising and slightly painful. (If there is one thing that I try to avoid in life, it would be getting shocked from friction action!) I then looked at the wheelchair unable to figure out why I was getting shocked. The part of the wheel that was touching the ground was rubber and so was the handle. In any case, I was going to do anything to try to avoid touching metal while I pushed the wheelchair.
After being shocked, I played it cool and just waited for the elevator to open and once it did, I wheeled Grandma into it and off we went to the second floor. After we met with the nurses to get her surgery site dressed with more tape and cloth, the inevitable was upon us. We had to go back to the ground level by taking the elevators down and walking back through the automatic double doors. Oh how I dreaded it! So here we were again, walking towards the elevators only now I was not going to touch the arrow button. I did the unthinkable. I asked Grandma to do it. She asked me why I didn't want to do it and I told her the reason and so she willingly went over to press the button. From the moment her fingers touched the metal button, she got a major shock. The shock was so intense for her that she threw her body back quickly away from the buttons. While she did this, all I could do was laugh out loud and uncontrollably! The shock happened so fast and strong that she nevereven got to press the down button hard enough to fetch us an elevator. Now what were we going to do? Well, Grandma had this brilliant idea to use her small handbag to press the button. She took the edge of the bag and directed it towards the down button and pressed on it. It took about four tries before she was able to press the button hard enough with her bag. All the while, I was still there laughing hard.
We boarded the elevator and made it to the ground level. Now I was thinking about our next major obstacle---the automatic double doors ( At this point, I still hadn't recovered from the hilarious moment on the second floor). You see, in order for the doors to open, you have to press a six inch square button, and yes, it was metal. As we walked through the long corridor and towards the double doors, I was hoping that someone would either be on the other side of the doors trying to get through or that someone would be slightly ahead of us to press the button. Unfortunately, there was no one doing either. Again, Grandma and I refused to touch the button. She instead applied the handbag technique on this big button. She again held the edge of her handbag and held it up to the button. Only this time, the handbag technique didn't work. I guess the handbag was too soft. Now what?! Well, as she sat and I stood there cracking up, a gentleman was walking into a set of doors just to the side of the double doors. He noticed that we were stuck there trying to figure out this button dilemma (he probably thought it was our first time using these doors). He then asked if we needed help and I said giggling and almost too much that I had to collect myself to say desperately, "Oh yes, please. My grandmother and I don't want to get shocked again and so we don't want to directly press the open button." Forget embarrassment, I was almost in tears from laughing at how silly all this was and how silly we must have looked! Phew!
Yesterday was such a great day! It was a great day because I was able to be in the moment and laugh at something that seemed so silly and trivial without caring who was around and what others thought. I was grateful for such a moment. Wow, I wonder if God was laughing as well...
Yesterday afternoon, I brought my 86 1/2 year old grandmother to her daily radiation treatment (she has cervical cancer) that is located on the ground level of the hospital. Afterwards, I needed to bring her to the second floor to get the nurses to dress her surgery site from the PCN tube procedure that was done last Friday. Since she has trouble walking long distances, I asked her if she wanted to be in a wheelchair so that I could transport her to the second floor. She agreed and I quickly walked us to the nearest elevator, which was 4 minutes away. Before getting to the elevators, I have to first get through a set of automatic doors. Thankfully, the doors were open already so I whizzed through and headed for the elevators. Upon reaching the elevators, I pressed the up arrow button and suddenly got shocked! The spark was both surprising and slightly painful. (If there is one thing that I try to avoid in life, it would be getting shocked from friction action!) I then looked at the wheelchair unable to figure out why I was getting shocked. The part of the wheel that was touching the ground was rubber and so was the handle. In any case, I was going to do anything to try to avoid touching metal while I pushed the wheelchair.
After being shocked, I played it cool and just waited for the elevator to open and once it did, I wheeled Grandma into it and off we went to the second floor. After we met with the nurses to get her surgery site dressed with more tape and cloth, the inevitable was upon us. We had to go back to the ground level by taking the elevators down and walking back through the automatic double doors. Oh how I dreaded it! So here we were again, walking towards the elevators only now I was not going to touch the arrow button. I did the unthinkable. I asked Grandma to do it. She asked me why I didn't want to do it and I told her the reason and so she willingly went over to press the button. From the moment her fingers touched the metal button, she got a major shock. The shock was so intense for her that she threw her body back quickly away from the buttons. While she did this, all I could do was laugh out loud and uncontrollably! The shock happened so fast and strong that she nevereven got to press the down button hard enough to fetch us an elevator. Now what were we going to do? Well, Grandma had this brilliant idea to use her small handbag to press the button. She took the edge of the bag and directed it towards the down button and pressed on it. It took about four tries before she was able to press the button hard enough with her bag. All the while, I was still there laughing hard.
We boarded the elevator and made it to the ground level. Now I was thinking about our next major obstacle---the automatic double doors ( At this point, I still hadn't recovered from the hilarious moment on the second floor). You see, in order for the doors to open, you have to press a six inch square button, and yes, it was metal. As we walked through the long corridor and towards the double doors, I was hoping that someone would either be on the other side of the doors trying to get through or that someone would be slightly ahead of us to press the button. Unfortunately, there was no one doing either. Again, Grandma and I refused to touch the button. She instead applied the handbag technique on this big button. She again held the edge of her handbag and held it up to the button. Only this time, the handbag technique didn't work. I guess the handbag was too soft. Now what?! Well, as she sat and I stood there cracking up, a gentleman was walking into a set of doors just to the side of the double doors. He noticed that we were stuck there trying to figure out this button dilemma (he probably thought it was our first time using these doors). He then asked if we needed help and I said giggling and almost too much that I had to collect myself to say desperately, "Oh yes, please. My grandmother and I don't want to get shocked again and so we don't want to directly press the open button." Forget embarrassment, I was almost in tears from laughing at how silly all this was and how silly we must have looked! Phew!
Yesterday was such a great day! It was a great day because I was able to be in the moment and laugh at something that seemed so silly and trivial without caring who was around and what others thought. I was grateful for such a moment. Wow, I wonder if God was laughing as well...
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Not Knowing "When"
First off, I just want to let you know that there are so many reasons why I appreciate our friendship. I think one of the top reasons is your honesty. I've always been drawn in by people who are willing to put it out there even if it dangles out there awkwardly and uncomfortably. With you, I know I'm getting the truth. I don't think there has ever been a time in our friendship when I've doubted your sincerity. To me, that is a treasure. So thank you.
About your comments on the boy whose parents (I think mom, mostly) were refusing treatment for him, I'm grateful how you worded your response. I especially liked the part about how we try to go around God's sovereignty.
This is a hot topic for me because, as you know my father has lung cancer and is refusing any medical help from this point on. I grapple with his decision, but am in full understanding I cannot control him and am not entirely sure what I would do if I were in his situation. I am trying to come at the whole thing from a non-judgmental viewpoint, expressing God's love through the whole thing. I won't lie though, it's hard. Not expressing God's love, that for me isn't hard. It's hard to watch someone die. It's hard to not know "when".
I think what I'm learning most in this circumstance is that none of us ever know "when". There's a verse that says something like that. It's pure truth. With that knowledge I just want to make every day count. I want my life to mean something for him and his glory. Surrendering control and my "need to know" things is all part of learning to glorify him.
About your comments on the boy whose parents (I think mom, mostly) were refusing treatment for him, I'm grateful how you worded your response. I especially liked the part about how we try to go around God's sovereignty.
This is a hot topic for me because, as you know my father has lung cancer and is refusing any medical help from this point on. I grapple with his decision, but am in full understanding I cannot control him and am not entirely sure what I would do if I were in his situation. I am trying to come at the whole thing from a non-judgmental viewpoint, expressing God's love through the whole thing. I won't lie though, it's hard. Not expressing God's love, that for me isn't hard. It's hard to watch someone die. It's hard to not know "when".
I think what I'm learning most in this circumstance is that none of us ever know "when". There's a verse that says something like that. It's pure truth. With that knowledge I just want to make every day count. I want my life to mean something for him and his glory. Surrendering control and my "need to know" things is all part of learning to glorify him.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Decisions, decisions, decisions...
That's a tough question. I did read a little about this young boy and his mother refusing conventional medical treatment for his cancer. At first, I thought, wow---is this kid for real? I later learned that part of their reason for declining the suggested treatment--chemotherapy--is so that they can apply a particular Native American form of treatment.
After a few moments of pondering about this news report, I could not help but be curious for their reasons to decline the proposed cancer treatment. I found it interesting that they were seeking to use a Native American form of treating the cancer, which does not involve the traditional route to aggressively treat cancer.
It gets very tricky when we start exploring outside of God's will and sovereignty for our life decisions. Here's an example. A few years back, my husband was very ill from a disease in which it really did take over our lives. We tried every medicine out there for this illness and sought alternative medicine as well (acupuncture, biofeedback, minerals, vitamins and the sort). Without relief, I became even more desperate for treatment for my husband's declining health. When we weren't seeing positive results from holistic/tradition approaches, I recalled having a college professor who was a shaman. A shaman is a sort of doctor that tries to heal physical and emotion ailments through performing certain rituals. This shaman in particular used trance to "heal" her clients. I remembered her sharing with me how she had healed a boy with epilepsy and a HIV-positive man. With this in mind, I suggested to my husband that we see her. (I was already a Christian at this point. Actually, I prayed daily, in tears mostly, for God to restore his health and for medical wisdom. ) I was desperate! I remember making that phone call to the shaman and she said she was willing to see my husband and try to help him. For a few seconds after hanging up the phone, I felt some relief that we were going to have another method to explore for "healing"; BUT, the Holy Spirit tugged at my heart saying otherwise. What was I doing? Was my faith so weak that I was willing to sell God short for my impatience and pain? The Holy Spirit revealed that going to the shaman was exploring (on my part) a power that was not of and from God, but quite the opposite. So now my heart was convicted, yet I still needed to make a decision. Was I going to simply diss God because I was not getting the results I wanted when I wanted them or was I going to rely on someone other than God to "fix" the situation?
Needless to say, my husband and I didn't meet with the shaman. We were going to trust God with our situation. Oh, I am so grateful for God's grace that He spared us the heartbreak that we would have felt for turning away from Him for such an important decision! I cannot pretend to know what it is like to have a disease like cancer, but I know what it is like to be medically desperate and to want to have a physically, functional lifestyle. In an instant, I could have easily turned my back on God because I didn't feel He wasn't acting quick enough or His plans didn't fit ours, but I am so glad for not going there! I just love it when He creates moments for us to turn back to Him because He knows what's best for us ---yes, even when we are in pain.
After a few moments of pondering about this news report, I could not help but be curious for their reasons to decline the proposed cancer treatment. I found it interesting that they were seeking to use a Native American form of treating the cancer, which does not involve the traditional route to aggressively treat cancer.
It gets very tricky when we start exploring outside of God's will and sovereignty for our life decisions. Here's an example. A few years back, my husband was very ill from a disease in which it really did take over our lives. We tried every medicine out there for this illness and sought alternative medicine as well (acupuncture, biofeedback, minerals, vitamins and the sort). Without relief, I became even more desperate for treatment for my husband's declining health. When we weren't seeing positive results from holistic/tradition approaches, I recalled having a college professor who was a shaman. A shaman is a sort of doctor that tries to heal physical and emotion ailments through performing certain rituals. This shaman in particular used trance to "heal" her clients. I remembered her sharing with me how she had healed a boy with epilepsy and a HIV-positive man. With this in mind, I suggested to my husband that we see her. (I was already a Christian at this point. Actually, I prayed daily, in tears mostly, for God to restore his health and for medical wisdom. ) I was desperate! I remember making that phone call to the shaman and she said she was willing to see my husband and try to help him. For a few seconds after hanging up the phone, I felt some relief that we were going to have another method to explore for "healing"; BUT, the Holy Spirit tugged at my heart saying otherwise. What was I doing? Was my faith so weak that I was willing to sell God short for my impatience and pain? The Holy Spirit revealed that going to the shaman was exploring (on my part) a power that was not of and from God, but quite the opposite. So now my heart was convicted, yet I still needed to make a decision. Was I going to simply diss God because I was not getting the results I wanted when I wanted them or was I going to rely on someone other than God to "fix" the situation?
Needless to say, my husband and I didn't meet with the shaman. We were going to trust God with our situation. Oh, I am so grateful for God's grace that He spared us the heartbreak that we would have felt for turning away from Him for such an important decision! I cannot pretend to know what it is like to have a disease like cancer, but I know what it is like to be medically desperate and to want to have a physically, functional lifestyle. In an instant, I could have easily turned my back on God because I didn't feel He wasn't acting quick enough or His plans didn't fit ours, but I am so glad for not going there! I just love it when He creates moments for us to turn back to Him because He knows what's best for us ---yes, even when we are in pain.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Boy In The News
I know both of us are in the trenches of dealing with loved ones with cancer. I thought I'd throw a question at you today. I'm curious about your thoughts on this. It's loaded, I'll let you know up front. I'm not sure you've heard about the boy in the news who is being forced to undergo more chemotherapy treatments. As you know, my father was diagnosed with lung cancer in October and has decided not to go the "medical route". This topic has hit home with me.
What are your thoughts about this boy and his family?
What are your thoughts about this boy and his family?
Monday, May 18, 2009
Self What?
Geeze, do you know what that requires? We live in a culture that tells us that everything is about us that it becomes a challenge to combat it. Let's see, our nature tells us that we come first and then we live in this culture that reaffirms it and encourages it. I actually find it a bit tragic when we succumb to the self because when difficult situations arise that include our "self", we quickly internalize emotions and start to get self-conscious and unstable. In other words, when we are into our "self" so much that we can't look beyond our "self" in those situations, it is as if we are standing on quick sand waiting to be devoured by anger, resentment, guilt, doubt, or confusion. On the flip side, if we are so full of our "self" when things are working out in our favor (i.e. career, relationships, hobby, etc.) , we become blinded by pride and our ego. Like the former, we're not only sinking in quick sand, but we're now on eroding quick sand. I've been in both places, and I can say that the lows and highs do not offer anything stable, secure and satisfying. For most of my young life (and yes, I consider myself still young :)), I had no idea what it meant to have something secure and stable. I relied on my own being to guide me and I thought I knew best what I should do with my life only to discover that I was only fooling myself. As situations arose (the not-s0-good ones, especially), it became apparent that I had no clue what I was doing nor what the purpose of my life was. It was only until I began searching for truth and learning about the god in the Bible that it became more clear that basing my life on my "self" was so unproductive and unsatisfying. Today, I cannot imagine going back to that place of self-reliance and self-centeredness when I know that I can stand on something solid and unchanging, my rock--- God.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Self Words
What do words like self-doubt, self-esteem and self-deprecating mean to you? Through time I've realized that self words often are a hint that focus is off somewhere. I think self-evaluation is important, but in light of who you are in God and all He's trying to do in you...self becomes less significant somehow.
I don't believe we are all to be chameleons of one another, walking around robotic and void of any specific character traits or gifts. God has gifted us uniquely and it thrills me to witness how many types of gifts there are. One of my favorite parts of being involved in a church is to see those gifts hard at work.
I think there's a wonderful sweet spot where you're self-aware enough to be able to surrender yourself and your desires (the whole dying to yourself bit), so that in turn God can do something powerful through you. After all, wasn't it Jesus who said in order to find yourself you need to lose yourself first. I think it's all about ripping down our pride and remembering who is in control.
What do you think of self words?
I don't believe we are all to be chameleons of one another, walking around robotic and void of any specific character traits or gifts. God has gifted us uniquely and it thrills me to witness how many types of gifts there are. One of my favorite parts of being involved in a church is to see those gifts hard at work.
I think there's a wonderful sweet spot where you're self-aware enough to be able to surrender yourself and your desires (the whole dying to yourself bit), so that in turn God can do something powerful through you. After all, wasn't it Jesus who said in order to find yourself you need to lose yourself first. I think it's all about ripping down our pride and remembering who is in control.
What do you think of self words?
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Good-bye or Hello Self?
Thanks! When we "die to ourselves", what does that mean? Does it mean we say "good-bye" to who we are or does it mean we actually uncover the person that we were created to be by peeling off the layers of untruth in our lives? Are we still unique individuals with real passions, desires, and ambitions? What are you willing to let go of in your life that is a stumbling block in your spiritual walk?
Saturday, May 9, 2009
WELL Worth It
I've mentioned this to you recently, how thankful I am for the advice you gave me about dying to myself a little every day. I believe we are instructed to do something similar in the Bible somewhere (I just don't know where that verse is at the moment). Your thoughts had such a crucial impact with an ongoing issue I deal with.
I'm grateful for your friendship and the ways you look out for me by lifting me up and holding me accountable.
On the same topic of comfort, dying to myself is obviously NOT comfortable, but it is right.
I just finished Andy Stanley's book, The Principle of the Path where in it he talks about the meaning of "paying attention." He draws from the word pay, stating, "Why pay? Pay implies price. Pay implies cost. Pay implies giving away something of value..."
He reminded me that sometimes to get to the better place, the place God wants us to be, we will have to sacrifice some things along the way (we will have to die a little to our own selfish wants).
And while this is not always easy or comfortable, I believe when we stand before him on judgment day, it will be WELL worth it.
~ Wendy
I'm grateful for your friendship and the ways you look out for me by lifting me up and holding me accountable.
On the same topic of comfort, dying to myself is obviously NOT comfortable, but it is right.
I just finished Andy Stanley's book, The Principle of the Path where in it he talks about the meaning of "paying attention." He draws from the word pay, stating, "Why pay? Pay implies price. Pay implies cost. Pay implies giving away something of value..."
He reminded me that sometimes to get to the better place, the place God wants us to be, we will have to sacrifice some things along the way (we will have to die a little to our own selfish wants).
And while this is not always easy or comfortable, I believe when we stand before him on judgment day, it will be WELL worth it.
~ Wendy
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Too close to Comfort
That's it! We (our culture) doesn't seem to like "discomfort". You think of our lifestyle and all the gadgets and ways we try to make life "comfortable" and convenient. For every medical ailment, we're so quick to jump to anything that will heal us or make us feel better (well, I guess why would we want otherwise?) Admit it, we don't do well when we're pushed out of our comfort zones. When there's anything that disrupts that comfort, we panic and look for ways to immediately remedy that discomfort AND we will do almost anything to restore that order into our lives again. Don't get me wrong, I have my certain comforts that I would rather not trade in, but if they were taken away from me, I would not be devastated (my health, chocolate, a roof over my head, music, a functioning toilet, thick, chenille socks, etc.) The apostles often talked about suffering (or discomfort in a more intense sense) and yet they added that we should "suffer with joy"....what?! It seems so unnatural to our very nature. BUT, they continue on and say that suffering produces perseverance (James 1) and that perseverance strengthens our faith. Wouldn't we want that? Wouldn't we want to own our faith instead of just inheriting it from our parents or believing out of fear? How do we own a faith that isn't personal and alive to us? From experience, I've seen God do amazing things during my lowest moments in life. I'm certain that I would not know the depth of God's grace, mercy and love on me had I not gone through those moments. Now, when things are looking rough or about to look rough, I just wonder how God is going to reveal Himself more in that time and what He's trying to accomplish through the circumstance ( I didn't say it wouldn't be painful).
Bottom Line: We're a part of this world and we are going to be affected by the natural because we're of the flesh, but we were not created to be weak, pitiful, lost beings. If anything, we're called to be bold (yes, even with the trials), joyful and unshakable, and we can be through Jesus. For sure, I'd be a wreck hands-down without Him!
Bottom Line: We're a part of this world and we are going to be affected by the natural because we're of the flesh, but we were not created to be weak, pitiful, lost beings. If anything, we're called to be bold (yes, even with the trials), joyful and unshakable, and we can be through Jesus. For sure, I'd be a wreck hands-down without Him!
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Is God Pushing?
I like how you brought up Isaiah. ("He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him..." Isaiah 53:2). I think it comforts us to think of Jesus as a highly attractive person. He is/was highly attractive, but just not in the way our culture defines it.
Speaking of our culture...that brings me to the swine flu. I admit, I couldn't sleep last night so I turned on the computer and did a little research. This morning I learned the first U.S. fatality has resulted from the swine flu. I wonder if this will make Americans take notice even more than we already have been...you know the whole, once it hits home and affects me, it becomes more important. This is an extremely natural way to think. I wonder if God is constantly pushing against the natural in us?
Set the sad outcomes from the swine flu against the thousands of starving children in Africa...in America, even. Why are we so resistant to become involved unless we are directly affected? I ask this with my own share of conviction on this topic.
Speaking of our culture...that brings me to the swine flu. I admit, I couldn't sleep last night so I turned on the computer and did a little research. This morning I learned the first U.S. fatality has resulted from the swine flu. I wonder if this will make Americans take notice even more than we already have been...you know the whole, once it hits home and affects me, it becomes more important. This is an extremely natural way to think. I wonder if God is constantly pushing against the natural in us?
Set the sad outcomes from the swine flu against the thousands of starving children in Africa...in America, even. Why are we so resistant to become involved unless we are directly affected? I ask this with my own share of conviction on this topic.
Friday, April 24, 2009
To Beauty or Not to Beauty?
I think the hoopla about Susan Boyle is an insightful one. I think she is having all this publicity because she represents people who have ever felt marginalized by their quirks and outwardly appearance. I think western society is so hungry for genuine acceptance and love that watching Susan Boyle sparked something inside them that said, "If people only took the time to get to know me without judging me first based on my looks, they would discover that I am likable and worth it." I personally felt sad when people snickered and thought she was foolish for thinking she was better than she looked. I am guessing that most of us want to be taken seriously by others and given the opportunity to prove ourselves before being judged.
This past week as I was reading, I was reminded of the verse in Isaiah that talked about Jesus' appearance. It said that he was not "attractive" and that he did not have physical traits that we would, in general, find desirable. Oh my! We're not talking about just an ordinary person here on the street corner, we are talking about The Redeemer, Our Savior, the One who gives us life and yet he wasn't this being who was considered "handsome" in his society. Could this suggest that perhaps God is more interested in who we are than what we look like? That just maybe our hearts matter most to Him than our faces or bodies?
I've often heard the saying that "beauty is in the eyes of the beholder." I think it's absolutely true! Our Creator didn't make a mistake when he made you. You are who you are. To Him, you are beautiful and precious...isn't that worth anything?
This past week as I was reading, I was reminded of the verse in Isaiah that talked about Jesus' appearance. It said that he was not "attractive" and that he did not have physical traits that we would, in general, find desirable. Oh my! We're not talking about just an ordinary person here on the street corner, we are talking about The Redeemer, Our Savior, the One who gives us life and yet he wasn't this being who was considered "handsome" in his society. Could this suggest that perhaps God is more interested in who we are than what we look like? That just maybe our hearts matter most to Him than our faces or bodies?
I've often heard the saying that "beauty is in the eyes of the beholder." I think it's absolutely true! Our Creator didn't make a mistake when he made you. You are who you are. To Him, you are beautiful and precious...isn't that worth anything?
Monday, April 20, 2009
Beauty Is In...What?
Okay, so I still can't articulate all the things I feel about the whole explosion that is...Susan Boyle. I'm hoping you can gather some words together and formulate something "pretty" about it all.
On another topic or extending somehow off the same topic I wasn't able to assemble my thoughts on...let's broach the topic of beauty. I've spent my day blogging about it on my blog and as a guest blogger and now I want your thoughts (but of course). How has our culture twisted the definition of beauty? I sometimes think the more airbrushed or plastic someone appears, the more kudos they get for being beautiful. Scary, huh?
Maybe I'm just wired strangely, or perhaps my faith really is wearing off on me, but I find Mother Theresa stunning. I came across some photos of her the other day holding a baby and she blew me away with beauty. My favorite thing about those pictures was the expression her face held. I'm speechless thinking about it.
Your thoughts?
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Most Inspirational
I would have to say that there are no coincidences in life. The people that are placed in our paths whether they be family, friends or strangers, are there for a reason (though it may not necessarily be a positive one all the time). Life is going to happen regardless of our circumstance and it has been such a relief to know that there is always something to learn from each experience. Granted, there are several times where I find myself wondering what the heck is happening when chaos and drama are present (ugh!), but then I think about what God is trying to teach me through these times.
Oh! Oh! Oh! Okay, here's another inspirational saying to chew on ---God is more interested in our character than our comfort--yes, I know, I cringe too when I am reminded of this. Who doesn't like comfort or being comfortable? I have found lately that if I am comfortable, I'd better not get too comfortable. I mean I don't want to be complacent in my life. Secure, yes, but not complacent. How can we grow if we don't move forward with Him inspite of the obstacles we face? Remember, life is life and it's just going to continue on with or without our permission.
Oh! Oh! Oh! Okay, here's another inspirational saying to chew on ---God is more interested in our character than our comfort--yes, I know, I cringe too when I am reminded of this. Who doesn't like comfort or being comfortable? I have found lately that if I am comfortable, I'd better not get too comfortable. I mean I don't want to be complacent in my life. Secure, yes, but not complacent. How can we grow if we don't move forward with Him inspite of the obstacles we face? Remember, life is life and it's just going to continue on with or without our permission.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Most Inspirational Thing
You have such a wonderful way of wording things. I'm proud to call you friend.
My new thought today is--what do you think is the most inspirational thing you could say to someone?
It might be different for everyone but if I were to come up with a "flat saying" that's not at all "flat" but filled with bloated potential it would be..."There's a reason you are here."
What do you think the most inspirational thing to say to someone is?
My new thought today is--what do you think is the most inspirational thing you could say to someone?
It might be different for everyone but if I were to come up with a "flat saying" that's not at all "flat" but filled with bloated potential it would be..."There's a reason you are here."
What do you think the most inspirational thing to say to someone is?
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Nature vs. Nurture -Does it Matter?
I'm not entirely sure I know where I'm going with this, but here goes. I think we are a combination of both. By nature, I have distinct personality traits that my grandmother can attest to has been consistent in me ever since I was a toddler. I know I wasn't a perfect child, a mild mannered one, but not without fault. Let's face it, for the most part as toddlers, as we gain more awareness of the world and ourselves, we automatically assume that the world revolves around us and we can only view our environment and the people around us as our dominion and servants! It's actually quite funny in hindsight. If you don't think so, I would recommend that you try spending an hour or two with a toddler around 2 or 3 years old and see it for yourself. Believe me, if I had never observed how small children act and interact with their surroundings, I would have completely disagreed with this statement.
Now there's the nurture (or lack of) part that is responsible for the rest of our perspectives and behaviors. Because life happens and we are relational beings, it is inevitable that we are going to be partly molded by our experiences and interactions with others. Unfortunately, I think we tend to get really messed up from this side of the nature v. nurture concept. For many years, my inability to trust anyone and depend on anyone was a result of my experiences with childhood abuse and abandonment. Yet, because of my nature (thank God!), I didn't have aggression or the feeling of vengeance towards the perpetrators. It didn't mean that I came out unscathed. Growing up, I had such a poor self-image and was such a people pleaser. Because of that, I made enough unwise decisions. And you know, we are all going to continue to make decisions in life-some wise and some unwise. With that, how do we trudge through all the fluff and bluff to live the life that is genuinely fulfilling?
Shortly even after I became a Christian (soon after college), I actually didn't know how to make wiser choices for myself and how to turn my self-image around. I had all sorts of insecurities that needed to be worked on, but I didn't even know if it was possible to "get better" without going to therapy until God stopped me in my tracks. As I SLOWLY ventured onto this faith journey, God began to reveal Himself more through scripture. The cultivating of this relationship with God and Jesus has made all the difference for me. In the months and years that followed, as I kept sharing and unloading my anxieties, dislikes, tears, doubts, questions-you name it, I've said it- to Him, He was starting to heal those wounds that I carried with me for so long. Oh, how liberating it is! He has further revealed that I'm not just this unwanted and undeserving person, but quite the opposite! I am, first and foremost, HIS daughter. Phew! It is still mind boggling to me at times at how intensely He loves us all and cares for us. I guess, my round-about-way point is is that because of our nature and environment (nurture) we are all broken in some form and He is the only one that can mend our brokenness. It truly is a supernatural thing...a God thing.
Now there's the nurture (or lack of) part that is responsible for the rest of our perspectives and behaviors. Because life happens and we are relational beings, it is inevitable that we are going to be partly molded by our experiences and interactions with others. Unfortunately, I think we tend to get really messed up from this side of the nature v. nurture concept. For many years, my inability to trust anyone and depend on anyone was a result of my experiences with childhood abuse and abandonment. Yet, because of my nature (thank God!), I didn't have aggression or the feeling of vengeance towards the perpetrators. It didn't mean that I came out unscathed. Growing up, I had such a poor self-image and was such a people pleaser. Because of that, I made enough unwise decisions. And you know, we are all going to continue to make decisions in life-some wise and some unwise. With that, how do we trudge through all the fluff and bluff to live the life that is genuinely fulfilling?
Shortly even after I became a Christian (soon after college), I actually didn't know how to make wiser choices for myself and how to turn my self-image around. I had all sorts of insecurities that needed to be worked on, but I didn't even know if it was possible to "get better" without going to therapy until God stopped me in my tracks. As I SLOWLY ventured onto this faith journey, God began to reveal Himself more through scripture. The cultivating of this relationship with God and Jesus has made all the difference for me. In the months and years that followed, as I kept sharing and unloading my anxieties, dislikes, tears, doubts, questions-you name it, I've said it- to Him, He was starting to heal those wounds that I carried with me for so long. Oh, how liberating it is! He has further revealed that I'm not just this unwanted and undeserving person, but quite the opposite! I am, first and foremost, HIS daughter. Phew! It is still mind boggling to me at times at how intensely He loves us all and cares for us. I guess, my round-about-way point is is that because of our nature and environment (nurture) we are all broken in some form and He is the only one that can mend our brokenness. It truly is a supernatural thing...a God thing.
Our Message
We are excited to be in the preparation stages of planning talks
for women in various stages of their lives.
We've been researching and developing talks on five key topics (TBA).
Our Message:
Motivating others to
glorify God by
Living Intentionally,
Laughing Joyously
&
Loving Altruistically
Friday, March 27, 2009
Does the apple fall far from the tree?
What do you think--does the apple fall far from the tree? I was thinking of this the other day while picking up my preschooler. She needed time to wind down before she gave me the details of her day at school. As she began to grump at me I realized, I am like that. As I began to think of both the strengths and weaknesses I may have passed along to my children it hit me--I need to amp up my prayer life.
It's wonderful to catch your child in the moments you know they are mimicking your behavior when its redeeming and sweet. It's a whole other story when you can tell you've passed along some questionable or even ugly traits.
I'm always fascinated by nature vs: nurture debates. How much do genes play a part of who are children become?
I guess in the absence of this knowledge I'm reminded to pray for even subtle character traits, the gleaming ones and the not so shiny ones.
It's wonderful to catch your child in the moments you know they are mimicking your behavior when its redeeming and sweet. It's a whole other story when you can tell you've passed along some questionable or even ugly traits.
I'm always fascinated by nature vs: nurture debates. How much do genes play a part of who are children become?
I guess in the absence of this knowledge I'm reminded to pray for even subtle character traits, the gleaming ones and the not so shiny ones.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Thursday, March 19, 2009
I don't know why women stay, but I can guess. I wonder if women feel one of the following three things.
- Guilt (as if it is their fault they are being abused -- as if they are causing it for some reason)
- Fear of Leaving (the abuser is well-versed at making the abused feel isolated and intimidated through manipulation and force)
- A Desire to Rescue or Save the Abuser
Each of those justifications make me sad mostly because they are complete lies.
Guilt: It's a lie that anyone deserves to be treated in any way other than with respect.
Fear of Leaving: There is life away from the abuser and it is a far more free and healthy life. The fear can be validated but there is a way out no matter how much he tries to convince otherwise.
The Desire to Rescue: This one disturbs me because no one person can save another person...ever, in any form, in any way, EVER. Can we encourage each other, move or inspire each other into greater actions and a possibly even a better state of living, sure...absolutely. But that's not what I'm talking about. I'm referring to the misguided thought that in some way to tolerate and "peace-keep" after being hit/verbally slammed, the abused is "giving the abuser a second chance." "He will stop if only I..." Sadly, his actions have very little to do with who he's abusing/her actions and all too much to do with his lack of coping skills and anger problems.
Perhaps the abused woman thinks she is the only one that can convince him to stop. Or maybe in some warped way, the abused feels special. Often abusers are protective, to the point of isolating the abuser...to the point of getting them to feel very alone (remind you of anyone described like a lion in the Bible?)
This topic gets to me. I feel for the women deeply. But I get frustrated too. I wish they could see it for what it is--abuse. I will say women need to stick together. We can't turn our backs on a woman if we see her being abused out of our frustration. We need to continue to encourage and speak truth into her life. It just may be the only truth she hears.
*I write women b/c most abusers are male and most of the abused are females.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
What's love got to do with it?
What makes a woman stay with a guy that hits her? I'm not shocked (though saddened)at the news that Rihanna would continue a relationship with Chris Brown despite his "outburst". It's unfortunate that many females would rather stay in an abusive (physical, emotional, etc.) relationship than be on their own. As I read the report that Rihanna submitted of the events that transpired between her and Brown that evening, I couldn't believe the anger that Brown displayed. It felt like I was watching a Lifetime script of an abusive lover who just found out that his partner just talked to the male postman! Brown not only hit her once, but he bit her and repeatedly punched her and threatened her as well. Ugh. Why? What's even worse if that we (females) try to even justify and make sense of the violence as if we had any control over it. Ladies, we don't. What do you think? Do you think the abuser is the sole problem in an abusive relationship?
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Childhood Memories
That's it for childhood memories today. Something about that phrase really hit me. Quite honestly, it convicted me. Am I setting up each day in order for my children to have the best memories possible?
I used to believe all the best memories stemmed from the holidays, so I'd often wait for something monumental to happen on those days. I mistakenly believed that holidays counted most as far as memories were concerned and because of that I put some sort of weird pressure on those occasions...pressure for all to go smoothly. I believed my memories from Halloween, Christmas, Easter, 4th of July, etc. wouldn't fade, that they couldn't fade, as if they were innocuous from change and time.
And a funny thing began to happen as each year turned into a new year. I remembered some things from holidays, but found that most of my rich and beautiful memories were from the simple moments, like skating on the pond with my sisters. I still remember how cold my feet would get and how poorly I skated. But I also remember how close I felt to them then. I remember thinking we were all part of something bigger than ourselves. I can't say that any one memory from a holiday conjures those same sentiments.
So, yes...I agree...time escapes me too readily as well. I also think we are making memories in the simple things, don't you? When I was little I used to love watching my mom iron. We had good talks then, but even more so I was learning how she loved my dad...Today, I hate ironing and every time I pick up the iron (which isn't all that often) I think of how my mom slid the iron back and forth over my dad's starched dress shirts. I think of her talking to me while doing something concrete to show her love.
That's what I remember.
I used to believe all the best memories stemmed from the holidays, so I'd often wait for something monumental to happen on those days. I mistakenly believed that holidays counted most as far as memories were concerned and because of that I put some sort of weird pressure on those occasions...pressure for all to go smoothly. I believed my memories from Halloween, Christmas, Easter, 4th of July, etc. wouldn't fade, that they couldn't fade, as if they were innocuous from change and time.
And a funny thing began to happen as each year turned into a new year. I remembered some things from holidays, but found that most of my rich and beautiful memories were from the simple moments, like skating on the pond with my sisters. I still remember how cold my feet would get and how poorly I skated. But I also remember how close I felt to them then. I remember thinking we were all part of something bigger than ourselves. I can't say that any one memory from a holiday conjures those same sentiments.
So, yes...I agree...time escapes me too readily as well. I also think we are making memories in the simple things, don't you? When I was little I used to love watching my mom iron. We had good talks then, but even more so I was learning how she loved my dad...Today, I hate ironing and every time I pick up the iron (which isn't all that often) I think of how my mom slid the iron back and forth over my dad's starched dress shirts. I think of her talking to me while doing something concrete to show her love.
That's what I remember.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Fly Away Time
When I was younger, time could not go any slower, but now I don't even know how time slips past me each day. My days are filled with "momma" here, "momma, can I have a snack?", making meals, picking up around the house, having personal time, etc. I would not trade it for anything although I just wish there was more time in a day. Often, I am racing with time trying to capture the last few moments before the children go to bed so that I can squeeze in more quality time knowing that when their eyes close, that's it for childhood memories today and that new ones are just around the corner in the morning when they awake. I know they say that time does go by quicker as you get older, but they didn't say it would go by at lightning speed. If time is really flying by as quickly as it is, I guess we should be trying to make the most of the time we are given. Time for what? Hmmm..... it would be most gratifying for me if I can look back on my day and say that I lived it with laughs, much love, compassion, integrity and with God.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
What's the motto with you?
I love the way your children think. I am blessed to have both you and each of them in my life. I'll want to know what becomes of that discussion and idea to send Bibles.
Meanwhile, I want to share a Latin motto that I got out of one of Beth Moore's studies.
Meanwhile, I want to share a Latin motto that I got out of one of Beth Moore's studies.
Nisi Dominus Frusta.
In Latin this says, 'Without the Lord, Frustration.'
Beth explains how this is the motto of the city of Edinburgh Scotland, "appearing on its crest and affixed to the city's official documents."
I know in America we have, 'In God We Trust' on our money and several other mottos impressed into our culture. It got me thinking if I had a motto what would it be. What would my own personal motto be? A pastor from our church in Kentucky asked something similar. He said, "Paul said to live is Christ. To die is gain...What would your vision statement be?"
At the time I came up with something like, 'To live a passionate life of compassion.' Think I'm going to stick with it.
What's the motto with you?
(p.s. had some spacing issues in this blog that drove me dang near batty :)
Money, Money, Money
My children and I were talking about the impoverished children of Africa and some of the things they are suffering from (digestive worms, starvation, abandonment, etc.). We then prayed for them, and then began to brainstorm ways that we can help. My daughter suggested that we send them sandals and donate our clothes and shoes to them. My son thought that he could send his allowance money to the program that sends us updates about their ministry in various parts of Africa (Food for the Hungry). After much brainstorming, it was becoming clear that no amount of money and material resources were going to "solve" the problem. Then all of a sudden, my son offered that we send Bibles there since money wasn't going to fix it. There you go! We not only want to do our part to care for those that are in need for the now, but also for the later. I am always blown away at how wise and preceptive children can be if given the chance to process and voice their thoughts. "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, in purity."(1Timothy 4:12) Wow! Do I feel old or what??!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Soul Mates and Throw Up
What do you think about soul mates? I, though embarrassed to admit I watched it, wondered about the booklet Molly made for Jason titled something about soul mates. Or where do you stand on love at first sight? Just writing in stream of consciousness...but I think during a show like that, when lavished with every expense and set in just the "right" places one might be easily led to believe they are falling in love. Love shows up in reality, I think...Love shows up when your significant other is holding the toilet throwing up...how do you love then? Or how about when you feel like doing something/watching one thing/going some place specific and loved one feels like doing the opposite...is love a sacrifice? A mutual sacrifice? A give and take, push and pull...lumberjack sawing kind of love? Love can also be the cutesy little things, but I find the most beautiful kind of love to be the kind that has the partner with warm washcloth in hand standing nearby as their love gets sick. The most beautiful kind of love comes when you give it away, eh?
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Mistaken Love
Last night, I watched the season finale of "The Bachelor" and found myself on the edge of the couch processing all that was unfolding before my eyes of a love that went or that didn't go anywhere. Jason, the bachelor, fell in love with two women yet for seemingly different reasons. He chose the one that he thought was the perfect match for him and his family (single father of one) and let go of the one that seemed to be a better match (I thought). After the selection, the network of the program then revisits the "happy" couple and interviews them and the woman that wasn't chosen. For the first time on the show, the couple breaks up and then the man chooses the other woman. What?! So, can someone really fall in love with two women? How do you know when the one you are with is "the one" ? Is there wiggle room to grow more in love with someone even if you are not madly in love with them? If we are blessed with a mate, shouldn't we be deeply in love with them? Hmmm....
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