I don't know why women stay, but I can guess. I wonder if women feel one of the following three things.

1. Guilt (as if it is their fault they are being abused -- as if they are causing it for some reason)
2. Fear of Leaving (the abuser is well-versed at making the abused feel isolated and intimidated through manipulation and force)
3. A Desire to Rescue or Save the Abuser

Each of those justifications make me sad mostly because they are complete lies.

Guilt: It's a lie that anyone deserves to be treated in any way other than with respect.

Fear of Leaving: There is life away from the abuser and it is a far more free and healthy life. The fear can be validated but there is a way out no matter how much he tries to convince otherwise.

The Desire to Rescue: This one disturbs me because no one person can save another person...ever, in any form, in any way, EVER. Can we encourage each other, move or inspire each other into greater actions and a possibly even a better state of living, sure...absolutely. But that's not what I'm talking about. I'm referring to the misguided thought that in some way to tolerate and "peace-keep" after being hit/verbally slammed, the abused is "giving the abuser a second chance." "He will stop if only I..." Sadly, his actions have very little to do with who he's abusing/her actions and all too much to do with his lack of coping skills and anger problems.

Perhaps the abused woman thinks she is the only one that can convince him to stop. Or maybe in some warped way, the abused feels special. Often abusers are protective, to the point of isolating the abuser...to the point of getting them to feel very alone (remind you of anyone described like a lion in the Bible?)

This topic gets to me. I feel for the women deeply. But I get frustrated too. I wish they could see it for what it is--abuse. I will say women need to stick together. We can't turn our backs on a woman if we see her being abused out of our frustration. We need to continue to encourage and speak truth into her life. It just may be the only truth she hears.

*I write women b/c most abusers are male and most of the abused are females.